Random {PERSONAL} Post on the B.L.O.G. : Weight Loss Challenge

So, out of all the blog posts I've made, I think I've only ever had maybe 2-3 personal posts, so this is a rare occasion needless to say! Pardon my poor grammar skills. English was never my best subject in college. ;) Anyways, I decided that I wanted to publicly announce my "weight loss challenge" so I had you guys to keep me somewhat accountable. Knowing that people know that I'm challenging myself to lose weight, I believe will help me significantly. In high school I was "fat" - ok, so I thought I was. {but I wasn't} Looking back at my high school photos, I think "Man! I would give anything to look like that again!" In high school it was easy to keep the weight off. I could eat whatever I wanted and it stayed off because I was well 1) young & healthy and 2) I played 3 very active sports. (volleyball, fast-pitch softball, and basketball) So, I was constantly running & working out in practice or just playing those sports for fun or with friends, so the weight just didn't come on. Then I went to college. I stayed active for a while and worked out a little bit because I still had energy & time. However, as the years went on, I didn't have as much time as I'd used to. I worked 2 jobs and went to college full time. Time began to fade and so did my energy. I was in a depressing situation & extremely unhealthy relationship at that time in my life and I believe I began to emotional eat to ease the pain. From then on, the weight came on and it didn't stop coming on until I got myself out of that bad situation. (which was the very first week of 2010) Once I got myself out of that situation, I began to see myself as worthy of something and I began to eat better & work out. I was finally starting to feel better about myself. Although not 100% satisfied, I felt confidence I hadn't felt since I was in high school. The weight came off a little bit and I felt somewhat confident in myself. Then a little over a year later, I met my now husband - Hunter.  Then the happy eating started happening, ha! I was comfortable, in love, happily married, and constantly cooking delicious meals for him, so I obviously had to share in the yummy goodness and eat some for myself. ;) Then I got pregnant. I only gained about 20-25 lbs. in my pregnancy due to having gestational diabetes which forced me to eat healthy for the sake of my son. However, I didn't exactly go below my pre-pregnancy weight after I had my son. I was almost breaking even with where I was before pregnancy, maybe just a little heavier. While I felt somewhat ok day to day in how I looked, I still struggled with my self-image and didn't have much confidence in my appearance due to my weight. My husband deployed a few weeks after I delivered our son and I began to not eat as much since I wasn't having to cook for him. I was also sick a lot and had to have two surgeries while he was gone, so eating wasn't exactly a priority. (for once! ha) Unfortunately, amongst all the healing from surgeries and being sick all the time, I wasn't able to work out either. That lack of self confidence continued to rise as I continued to gain weight once he returned home from deployment and I had to start feeding him those delicious oh so buttery dinners again. Day to day even though I am not miserable with myself, I'm sure not happy with myself and I know it has taken a toll on me emotionally and mentally, and I believe even physically. I am always tired, exhausted, and sick a lot because I am not in good health. I hate working out and I love my food so I just kept teetering on actually starting a "diet" and "work out plan." I wanted some kind of BOOST to help get me started because I'll be honest, being motivated isn't one of my strong suits. So, as I continued to make excuses to not start a diet, it hit me hard one night. I saw a picture of my husband's aunt who had lost a lot of weight and looked great. When I asked her how she did it she said, "Thinogenics" and told me that she had lost around 48 pounds on it already! It instantly got me excited and hopeful. I know it seems lazy to all you work out buffs, but I personally need to SEE change before I get motivated so I need all the boosts I can get when starting out! I had already looked into the Body by Vi shakes that some of my friends had done and lost weight on, so I decided that I wanted to do that as well. The desire to get on this losing weight thing grew and grew and I finally made the decision to DO SOMETHING!

Not only do I have the desire to lose weight to look better and feel more confident about myself, but to be healthy! I have never been one to hold back from eating what tickles my tastes buds and I still don't want to be that person, however, limiting myself I believe will help me very much! So, if I make cookies here at home, instead of eating 6 in one sitting, I'll eat one. When I make mashed potatoes at home, I'll have a smaller helping instead of a monster sized serving. When I go to Texas Roadhouse and have those delicious, mouth-watering rolls - I'll eat one instead of three. One of the main reasons I want to lose weight is that diabetes runs in my family. Even though this is a common disease, it is still very serious and I need to start remembering that. Those of you who know me well, know that I had gestational diabetes while I was pregnant. That to me, hit me hard. I realized that before I ever decide to have more children, that I want to lose weight so that I will not have gestational diabetes during my next pregnancy. Having a child also made me realize that I want to live a long, healthy life so that I can spend all the time in the world that God allows me to with my husband, our son, and our future children. If I continue to gain weight and live unhealthy, I also run the risk of high blood pressure, high cholesterol and all of those yucky things which also run in my family and I have already been told I am on the line for both of those. So, needless to say, losing weight isn't something I just want to do, but I need to do. Not only for my health, but for the benefit of my child and future children, and even my husband. I don't want to be that mom that's too tired or exhausted from being overweight to not want to be active with her kids and gets out of breath chasing them around the back yard playing tag. Now, does all of this mean that I am going to start eating only salads, veggies, and only drink water? No way, that is not me. So don't judge me if you see me post a picture of a yummy dinner or a special treat here and there. That is going to happen still, just not near as often as it has been. Portion control to me is the best long-lasting "diet" because it allows you to still have those things you are craving, just in smaller portions. Here are the things I have researched and decided that I am going to try to help me start this:

1. DRINKING MORE WATER - I have frequent headaches and not only is drinking water good in general for everyone but I'm hoping it will help with my headaches. I'm also hoping it will help me feel more full. I'm not a huge water fan but adding Crystal Light type of things to it or some lemon, will help! I also have a LOVE for sweet tea. The tea I have itself to make at home is 0 calories. I have Splenda, also 0 calories. So, I tried making a Splenda sweet tea which is 0 calories. Now, not NEAR as good as the real thing, but maybe I can trick my mind into thinking so and when I'm craving sweet tea I can have this instead. :)
2. THINOGENICS - Yes, I'm taking a "magic pill" to help me boost my weight loss. I don't want to be on this forever, but I want to do it to help me get that boost to lose weight that I have been needing to give me that extra motivation to keep going!
3. BODY BY VI & PORTION CONTROLLED dinner - Yes, I'm also starting a "magic shake" haha. But seriously, I love it so far. It tastes so good and there are tons of ways to make it! I am doing the shakes for breakfast and lunch and then having a normal dinner. (not going overboard and eating 6 lbs. of mac and cheese though, no worries!) But I will eat a somewhat "normal" dinner but use portion control to make sure I don't go crazy.
4. HEALTHY SNACKS - The Body by Vi shakes are supposed to be a "meal replacement" which I am doing. However, they do recommend healthy snacks full of fiber and/or protein. So I'm eating things for snacks when I get hungry such as an apple, a green dark lettuce salad with only lemon juice, celery with light peanut butter, cut up cucumber/tomato mix, unsweetened apple sauce, etc.
5. WORKING OUT - I'm starting my work out with Turbo Jam videos. I did those in college and I lost 12 lbs. in 10 days on it. I don't remember what I did after that? Probly gave up! ha. Now, I know I will get sick of this so I will also be taking walks/jogs with my dog and son when I have time and doing whatever else I can. I haven't started this part just yet because I have been sick since I started my diet 2 days ago and can barely breathe in without coughing, but as soon as I'm better, it's ON!

So, anyways - those are my 5 steps I have taken to start getting healthy. I know not everyone may agree with the way I am doing things, but this is what I am doing. I have posted a THEN & NOW photo collage {see below} which is somewhat embarrassing for me because you can see all the weight I've gained from 2004/2005 to 2012/2013. However, I really want to put this all out there in hopes of reminding myself that people know I'm doing this and are going to ask how it's going. So, if I give up, I will be even more embarrassed that I couldn't stick with it. I'm too embarrassed to post my actual weight but I will say it is A LOT. I have a very big goal but want to set it in small goals so I don't get disappointed. I will share my progress as I continue on this "weight loss journey" and hope that you all will support me in this! Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. All 3 of you that might have actually read this haha.