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Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Moms, you are not alone...

I want to start this off by saying that I am NOT a writer and English writing is not my strong point so NO JUDGING! ;) I also am doing this for the simple fact of hoping others can feel & relate....so, here it goes...

I have done many things in life of which I am proud....went on a missions trip, went to university and earned my Bachelor's degree, got promotions in various jobs, run and maintain a successful photography business....yet, my greatest accomplishment is none of those things.

My greatest and proudest accomplishment isn't even something that's one of a kind. It's not really something that I can brag about nor get a trophy for. It's really not even something that gets appreciation for most of the time. I'm not even the only one to accomplish this in this world, or in my state, or in my city. As a matter of fact, millions have accomplished this very same thing all over the world. However, it is still my proudest accomplishment. It is the thing I pride myself in most. The thing I find the most success and joy in. The thing that I know is a huge part of who I pride myself in.

That thing is the crazy yet beautiful ride of being a mother.
Who knew that motherhood could give one such a headache feeling of accomplishment. ;)

While motherhood is indeed my proudest accomplishments, let's be real here - there are days where it makes me want to pull my hair out, hide in a closet, cry and drink lots of wine, scream, act like a two year old myself, run away.....should I keep going?

However, there are days where motherhood also makes me sit and think how blessed I am to have the opportunity to have birthed such a beautiful gift.....a gift who fills my heart with emotions, feelings and a love I didn't know was possible to have. There are days where motherhood makes my eyes well with happy tears because I can't even control the feelings of love I have for the little rascal who just came and kissed my arm and said with a sweet smile, "I love you, mommy!" 

Since becoming a mother and seeing how much goes into being a mother, my new favorite holiday has become Mother's Day. It's a day I really feel pride in because it's a day all the hard work of motherhood that goes un-noticed all year long is celebrated. [even if men forget half the time or our babies are too young to tell us Happy Mother's Day lol] I still feel like flexing and saying "YA! This is a day to celebrate ME!" Not because I am selfish, [I mean, I am at times lol], but it's because I feel so much pride in being a mother and all the work that comes with it. 

As beautiful as this roller coaster of motherhood is, let's get down to the nitty gritty. It is what it is....a roller coaster and each and every single mother out there has felt the ups and downs of this ride. And as you know, the highs can be super high and the lows can be super low. 

I read an article not long ago about the internet [Facebook, Instagram, etc.] portraying only the good sides of motherhood, photos of children smiling perfectly at the camera, photos of Pinterest activities that look like they took 857 hours to do, photos of cute Sunday outfits with shirts all tucked in, hair all done, shirts stainless. I mean, who wants to share the photos of their children throwing spaghetti all over the walls in a raging fit? Who wants to share the video of their child kicking and screaming because they just got in trouble for throwing a toy? Who wants to share the story of their kid being a total brat for no reason at all? That isn't because that doesn't happen. It's because those are the photos, videos and stories we don't want to remember. Those are the stories you share with wine & tears to your best friends or your mother - but not publicly. That would mean your child isn't as perfect as you want to portray him, right? Wait a second...nobody has a perfect child. Not even seemingly perfect Pinterest & Pearls mommy who patiently counts to 10 before losing her you know what EVERY SINGLE TIME with a smile. Or maybe she never loses it, we will never know. ;) However, I am here to tell you that I LOSE IT. I lose it a lot.  Why? Because I am human. My son also loses it, he loses it a lot. He isn't always as smiley and cute as he is in the photos + videos I share. Why? Because he is a tiny human. I don't like to capture those bad moments as much because who wants to remember that? Not me! I like to take them as they come, learn from them, and move on. If there happens to be a moment of cuteness and smile in-between the crazy that brings me back to sanity, then heck yes I'm going to snap a pic and share it. My main reason for sharing is to update family + friends who don't live near by. We are a military family so we move a lot which means so do our friends. So not only do I enjoy uploading pics to share with our friends & family, but I also look forward to my friends & family sharing pics of their littles and lives as well because it reminds me that I am not alone in this roller coaster life of motherhood. I know full well when someone posts only pictures of their kid being an angel that like my kid, it doesn't mean that their kid is always an angel. There is no way I would ever post the videos of my son when he was in his HUGE temper tantrum throwing stage. It made me feel like a failure.  But, seeing other moms posts/photos of their children helped me remember that I was not alone in wanting to cherish the good/sweet moments and capture the essence within those moments in hopes of it helping overshadow all the moments that make us want to pull our hair out. Because those moments aren't shared as often [if ever] as the happy ones, sometimes us moms feel alone in our struggles. 


[I don't feel alone because everyone posts happy pics with their babies]

REAL US.....
[when I feel alone because I'm going crazy and nobody posts these things!]


I'm here to tell you....amongst feeling crazy 23/24 hours of the day, you are NOT alone.
To the mom who just gave birth in the hospital room and is excited yet confused & scared, you are not alone.
To the mom who just arrived home for the first time and your baby won't stop crying & you feel helpless, you are not alone.
To the mom who hasn't slept in 48 hours and you want to hide in a room from your baby for just 5 little minutes to close your eyes, you are not alone.
To the mom whose baby is teething and you feel helpless because you can't help their pain, you are not alone.
To the mom whose toddler just screamed so loud in the restaurant you are pretty sure you are 5 seconds away from being kicked out, you are not alone. 
To the mom who just emptied the dishwasher and cleaned the kitchen, but found 27 tupperware and wooden sticks spread out all over the floor amongst a smiling toddler, you are not alone.
To the mom whose toddler laid down on the ground and kicked and screamed because you wouldn't buy them the $500 toy they saw in the aisle, you are not alone. 
To the single mom who works two jobs to provide for their little ones, you are not alone.
To the mom who stays home every single day with their little ones and dreams of even just an hour of me time, you are not alone.
To the mom who works 40+ hours a week and yearns to just have one day at home with your baby, you are not alone.
To the military wife/mom who has to explain why daddy is STILL gone after 6 months of being away, you are not alone.
To the mom who lost her baby and yearns to smell their scent just one more time, you are not alone.

On a more personal level...
To the moms who have struggled with breastfeeding, I've been there.
To the moms who cried out of pure exhaustion off/on the first few weeks of being home with a new baby, I've been there.
To the moms who have cried because you can't figure out why your baby is crying and all you want to do is help but you can't, I've been there.
To the moms whose toddlers have thrown a fit in public so bad you've had to run off to the nasty bathroom just to get him/her to calm down so people will quit staring, I've been there. 
To the moms who have cleaned up throw up off more than 1 shirt in 1 day, I've been there. 
To the moms who lose their mind after hearing 'mommy' 857 times in a row, I've been there. 
To the moms who have been at their wits' end but can't even put into words why, I've been there.
To the moms who work from home and feel like even though you worked 8+ hours, you got nothing done, I've been there.
To the military wife/moms who have cried with their little ones that they miss their daddy, I've been there.
To the military wife/moms who have had to move and feel alone with nobody to relate, I've been there.
To the military wife/moms who don't have family near for support when you just need a break, I've been there.
To the moms who have dealt with the tantrum stage and felt hopeless on how to fix it, I've been there.
To the moms who struggle with their body image after seeing what carrying your blessing has done to your body,  I've been there.
To the moms who can feel so much love one minute then so much anger the next, I've been there.
To the moms who want to scream at the top of their lungs sometimes because you've had enough, I've been there.
To the moms who have looked at the clock and see it's 6pm and they haven't even washed their face, brushed their teeth, nor put on a bra and your hair looks like it went through a tornado, I've been there. [and am there still, a lot lol]

MOM SELFIE....the look we want to portray
[or, I put makeup on for the 1st time in months selfie is more like it]

HOW I ACTUALLY LOOK MOST OF MY DAYS....this is the realistic portrayal lol
[I call this realistic mom selfie....usually accompanied by yoga pants + a hoodie + flip flops]

I could go on and on but I wont lol, but I ramble all this to say to you mommies who may be struggling every now and then, that you are not alone and so many other mommies have been there too, including me. Remember it's ok to take some time to yourself now and then and it's ok to feel a little crazy at times. I think it's perfectly healthy & normal. :) 

For me, there are way too many different adjectives to describe motherhood and I can guarantee you that not all of them are positive. I love being a mommy, but I can tell you in pure honesty that I don't always like or enjoy it because there are moments of absolute helplessness, torture, pain, weakness, etc. To say anything else would be a lie. Yet as many hard times as their are, I wouldn't trade being a mommy for the world. My little man is irreplaceable and I love him more than words can say, even if I do hear mommy 857 times a day, over and over and over and over and over and over and WHAT!?!!??!?!! Please tell me I'm not the only one who reacts like that sometimes?!?!? lol

With all of that being said, Happy Mother's Day to all of you beautiful mothers! Remember it's ok to struggle at times. It's ok to cry at times. But when you do, remember....you are NOT alone! And remember, be happy in your situation and be thankful you have a blessing to even drive you crazy at times. Some pray for such a blessing daily. And remember, in the future, you will miss the crazy. So be happy in your here and in your now. 

Feel free to share! <3

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